I was scrolling through some posts I never got around to publishing while I was pregnant and I stumbled across this one. I wrote briefly about stuff related to my feeling in this post after the babies had arrived, and I had forgotten that I had written this. I still miss being pregnant, but I am so happy my babies are here now. I truly can’t imagine my life without them now. Most of all, I am happy that I have been able to relax a bit after the first few emotional weeks of desiring control over everything pertaining to the babies (sorry Nick, I know I was a handful).
Recently, knowing that the babies will be here in less than 3 weeks, I have been having quite the whirlwind of emotions. While I am beyond excited to finally meet these babies that I have been growing, I find myself a little sad that the pregnancy portion of this journey is going to end.
Right now, I feel like I can protect these babies from everything bad. Sure I may eat too much sugar sometimes or not drink enough water on occasion, but for the most part I am providing them the best environment I know how. Once they are born into this world I can no longer protect them from everything, and that feels a little scary sometimes.
Right now, I get to be the only one to carry these babies. As selfish as it sounds, I love knowing where my babies are, right in my belly. I can feel them move around and be assured that they are safe. I get to be the only one to feel them move late at night when I wake up to use the bathroom. I am the only one that can hold them right now, and some part of me is sad to give that up. I can’t wait to see Nick hold them, but for now, I love that the babies and I share moments together that no one else gets to be a part of.
I love these babies so much already and I know upon meeting them I will wonder how I ever lived without them, but for now I really love that I get to hold them in my belly and keep them safe.
And just because this is a flashback post, here is a picture of that big ol belly I had.