*I started this list a few days postpartum, and have since realized there are many things I never expected, thus the #1.
When we found out we were expecting, there were plenty of things people warned us about. “Sleep now, you’ll never sleep again once they’re here.” “Enjoy the quiet now, one baby is bound to be crying at all times.” There were plenty of other warnings we received and things we expected, but there were also things that I never expected. So here are a few of those.
How much respect I would gain for my body. I have generally always had a decent amount of respect for my body, but nothing will ever compare to the respect I gained from carrying two babies and giving birth. I love my body more than ever, even though it will never look like it once did.
How much I would love my stretch marks. I knew stretch marks were going to happen. You all saw how big my belly was, but I had no clue that I would look at my stretch marks and love every single one of them. They remind me of how incredible it was to carry and give birth to these perfect creatures.
How sad I would be that my babies weren’t inside and safe anymore. I wrote briefly about how sick I was during a lot of my pregnancy, but even through all the sickness, I absolutely adored being pregnant. There was something so magical about feeling them move, kick, and hiccup. I remember telling my mom that I felt like I was robbed of a week because I was induced. I loved having them safe inside, happy, warm, and fed.
How hard it would be to see other people hold my babies. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to see other people hold Grayson and Stella. I was used to being the only one that could hold them and now I had to share. Call me selfish, but it was so hard.
How much I would cry in the first few weeks. Holy hormones! I didn’t cry for any reason in particular, I would just cry. Luckily I had Nick, my mom, and my beautiful babies to snuggle when I felt the need to cry. Thank goodness those darn hormones have balanced a bit now.
How scary the first poop after delivery would be (TMI haha). You’d think because I just pushed two babies out I wouldn’t be nervous at all, right? Wrong. I think I was more scared for that than the actual delivery.
How many people would see my boobs and how much I didn’t care at all. In our hospital room I pretty much just wore underwear and nothing else. Between feeding two babies and pumping all the time, I just found it easier to just not cover them up, and somehow I didn’t feel at all uncomfortable with strangers walking into our room and seeing me topless. I frequently liken my boobs to spoons, they’re used for eating.
How much I would pray for these babies. I pray constantly. It is the only way I can relax and sleep while they sleep. I have to trust that God will protect them always, or I find myself completely nervous and overwhelmed constantly.
How different the babies would be right from the beginning. I knew they would be their own people, but they have completely different personalities. I love every second of them, and watching them grown into their own people more and more each day is priceless.